I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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