Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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