I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
