I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
