I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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