If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
