wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
