hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
did i just pee glitter
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
