Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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