I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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