There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
