She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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