? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
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