there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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