Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
