I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
