Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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