All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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