Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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