Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
