did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
