she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
