I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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