somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
