She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
