Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
