How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
