FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
