U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I accidentally burped into my bong.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
