It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
