if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
