I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
