his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
