dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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