is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
