I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
