she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
