And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
