Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
