I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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