dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
