Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
