you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
