these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
