Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
