Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I smell like Dick and happiness
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
