6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
