that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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