wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
