I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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